Oh, Excuses

so tired of excuses
of tying my own nooses
I tried to be connected
ended up being wretched

i thought I knew
but things weren’t so inclined
can’t make dense dreams come true
the world seems to be getting more unkind

I’d rather die than feel this unwell
is there any point to pain?
but I am afraid that I don’t know
knowing is not my game

I’m so done, so done with everything
it’s no fun, no fun to be
when nobody even wants me
but it’s how things go
and right now, right now I’m cold